It's so easy for me to fall into a pretentious
mindset when discussing music, but when I'm being honest, there are few things
I enjoy more than a goofy tune that refuses to be taken seriously. While many
artists will occasionally shrug off the serious looks long enough to record a
silly song or two, very few are as bold as The Vandals, a punk act that
continuously composes entire records of humorous music.
Since I first heard them in my teen years, their
lack of gravity provided a wonderful alternative to the hundreds of stuffy and
semi-political punk anthems of their peers, and the fact that their songs were
popping up in all my favorite video games at the time only drew me in further.
When I finally had a chance to pick up Hitler Bad, Vandals Good at age
fifteen, I immediately connected with the humor and hectic energy, and though
I’m certainly older and allegedly more serious, the lighthearted hilarity still
hits just as hard.
Unlike most records, the very first part of Hitler Bad, Vandals Good that grips my
attention is not the musicianship, but rather the record’s inane lyrical
content. All four band members share writing duties,[1]
yet not one among them seems to take writing seriously, which is a ridiculously
refreshing change. While there is an almost universal theme of romantic (and
often unrequited) love through the record, each relationship is cast in a
unique situation: “Fucked Up Girl” expresses love for a “legally insane” woman
who is “losing all [her] faculties,”[2]
while “I Know, Huh?” analyzes the awkward intricacies of being in an
interracial couple. And while their ideas aren’t always that original (they’ve
openly stated how big of an inspiration TV is in their writing)[3],
such silliness is guaranteed to bring a smile to even the most grumpy
listener’s face.
The Vandals’ humor on Hitler Bad, Vandals Good strays into darker territory as well. “Too Much Drama,” co-written by The Offspring’s Dexter Holland,[4]
humorously tackles the topic of absent parents, while “People That Are Going to Hell” very casually references scumbags who “beat their wives / or pull out a
knife and stab a person or two or three.”[5]
Even love takes a dark turn in “My Girlfriend’s Dead,” a song characterized by
a broken-hearted man who avoids discussing how he was dumped, instead “tell[ing]
them all she’s dead” because he “likes the sympathy” it garners.[6]
Without shying from the inherent depravity of their material, The Vandals
manage to spin even the darkest parts of humanity into carefree song.
Hitler Bad, Vandals Good is a laugh from start to finish, but for me, no
song is more ridiculous than “I’ve Got An Ape Drape,” the band’s infamous ode
to an awful haircut. With a frenzied chord progression that hugs the melody and
a gang-vocal chorus, this tune celebrates all that is wrong about the mullet. With
almost childlike innocence, Dave Quackenbash demands that his hairdresser “make
it short in front and long in back” like “that dude I saw last night on Jerry
Springer,” before ultimately requesting that his son get the same horrid haircut,
a decision that apparently qualifies as “bonding with your dad.” The song even
includes an off-hand reference to Billy Ray Cyrus, whom the band holds
responsible for perpetuating what they have coined “Achey Breaky Hair.”[7]
With its repetitive chorus and triumphant satire, “I’ve Got An Ape-Drape”
presents a sidesplitting homage to a horrible idea that is far from
disappearing, and worst of all, “they’re giving them to anyone, and that means
you!”[8]
In sharp contrast to the amusing and off-hand
lyrics, the musicianship on Hitler Bad,
Vandals Good is both tightly-knit and complex, perhaps because the band
felt that room to “musically…stretch out a bit” on this record.[9]
Drummer Josh Freese rips through slash-beats in virtually every song, yet
somehow manages to squeeze effortless fills and rolls among his madness. In a
similar vein, bassist Joe Escalante and guitar wizard Warren Fitzgerald compose
effortless and interwoven rhythmic parts which maintain intricacy even at 190
bpm. Add on top of that impeccable Beatles-esque harmonies and a punked-up
cover of “So Long, Farewell” from the Sound of Music, and The Vandals have handed
us a pile of lightning-fast tunes that guarantee laughter as much as they do moshing.
Because punk rock has a more rigid sound
structure (super fast and super loud) than other genres, all too often a punk
record will be composed of songs so similar in tempo and energy that they simply
bleed together. While Hitler Bad, Vandals Good is no exception,
featuring more than a few songs loaded with power chords and cliché progressions,
The Vandals do make some valiant strides towards breaking up any monotony. The
band layers various instruments into their songs, such as a bongos in "If the Gov't Could Read My Mind" and a tuba in "I Know, Huh?" But
rather than just squeeze those new instruments in, The Vandals choose to
arrange their own parts to complement the new textures, thus justifying the
added horn section in "Fucked Up Girl" by moving into a full-out blues.
Some songs off of the record even go so far as
to acknowledge the limitations of the genre of punk. Both "I've Got an Ape
Drape" and "Money's Not an Issue" repeat certain riffs or
sections ad nauseum; this deliberate application of the extreme simplicity that
a lot of punk acts embrace proves The Vandals to be a very self-aware act. And
just as often as they embody their punk ethics, so too do they shun them:
"Euro-Barge" features a
fantastically un-punk time signature change, alternating between measures of
7/16 and 4/4, while "People That Are Going to Hell" relies on a very
strange melody built to defy the downbeat. Hitler Bad, Vandals Good
might be a punk record, but The Vandals work hard to bring more to the table than
slash-beats and simple shouting.
Although neither the most exciting or
enlightening record, Hitler Bad, Vandals
Good is still and excellent example of how music can resonate without being
stuffy. The Vandals know exactly who they are and what they want from this
endeavor: to play fast punk and to make people laugh. There is not a drop of
doubt or indecision at any point on this record, and such honest identity makes
for a pretty fantastic listening experience. Even a decade after I first heard
them, many of the songs on Hitler Bad,
Vandals Good keep me cracking up, and remind me that a serious song can be
just as heartfelt as a nonsensical one.
Tunes to Check Out:
2) I've Got an Ape Drape
3) So Long, Farewell
